The enneagram is a very popular and accurate tool used to self evaluate and grow as an individual person. There are many social media pages and books about this topic. If you are new to the enneagram, and are wondering what it is, head over to What is the Enneagram. I summarize how it works there.

Let’s dive into what it looks like to be an enneagram three. You might have been told that you are an enneagram three by a friend or online quiz. Or you could have been connecting with images you’ve seen on social media. Take a look at the enneagram three and see how you relate.

Characteristics of The Enneagram Three

The enneagram three is known by a few names. The achiever, the communicator, and the role model. Enneagram threes seek recognition from their achievements. They like to be successful. Enneagram three loves to make goals and to, more importantly, reach those goals. They also like to inspire others. It is also important for an enneagram three to feel as if they are respected or viewed as a leader. So when they find their secret to success, a lot of times, they will share that with others. And they will encourage others to have their own success. They are really good in a crowd. People enjoy their company and friendship. Enneagram threes are very competitive. But they are most competitive with themselves.

The biggest pet peeve for the enneagram three is their time being wasted. They like to be efficient. So wasting their time takes away from other things they could be doing. While the enneagram three is very ambitious, they can also be very self-doubting. They won’t show this at their surface. They mask it. This may cause them to, at times, deceive themselves and others about their abilities. It may appear as if they could never fail.

An enneagram three is good at keeping their needs or their feelings and emotions hidden. They don’t like people to know too much about them. They only want people to know what they allow them to know. But sometimes their emotions are hidden, even to themselves. So it can be hard to share those with other people.

Basic Desire and Basic Fear

The basic desire for the Enneagram three is to be admired. They want to be the one that is seen as the best. To be the best person. The best athlete. The best student. The best at whatever is important to them. And they want others to see that. Because, ultimately, they only want to be the best for the respect and admiration that comes with it.

The basic fear of an enneagram three is to be a failure. When they fail at something it is as if they don’t have any worth. They may cover up their failures or try to move past them. Because they feel like if they have nothing to show for their life, then they are a waste.

Security and Stress

Every enneagram number takes on different characteristics when they feel secure or stressed. They will move towards specific numbers depending on their core number. It is important to note that going to either of these numbers is not considered good or bad. But awareness of this movement can help you self assess the state you are in.

When the enneagram three is secure, they take on characteristics of the enneagram six. They become more grounded in how they view themselves. They also become very loyal and supportive to other people. They do not act based off of their emotions. Instead, they look at what is sensible. They are a lot more trusting. They are less worried about who is going to wrong them or how things are going to go wrong. Instead they are confident and ready for what comes their way.

In stress, the enneagram three will take on characteristics of the enneagram nine. In that state, they become a lot more stubborn. They are unlikely to listen to other people. And are more passive aggressive. They become unproductive and focus more on what feels good. They distract themselves from their unwanted reality. They are more forgetful. Because their priorities are off. Instead they are focusing on feeling good.

Wings

An enneagram three can have two wings. The enneagram two and the enneagram four. Wings are the numbers right next to the core enneagram number. It is possible to pull from these numbers at any time.

Enneagram threes with a two wing is very warm. They are helpful. People are their priority. They are more encouraging and popular. They enjoy being the center of attention. And are seductive when necessary.

If an enneagram three has a four wing, that means that they are more focused on work. They enjoy success. They are a lot more introspective. So they focus more on internal goals instead of only reaching external ones. They are a lot more sensitive and can feel their emotions clearly. They are also more imaginative with their thoughts and ideas.

Conclusion

The enneagram three is great at making things happen. They’re also naturally skilled at making the dreams of others come to life. If you give them an idea, they can give you the steps to making it a reality. They’re very encouraging. Threes are a great friend to have. What would help them grow is if they realize that adoration will only get them so far. Who they are is not only somebody who can reach goals and have a leadership position. Who they are is their core self. And that person is loved regardless of their achievements. That person is loved and admired without any effort on their part. But they need to be willing to be exposed, failures and all, to see it.

For more information on the enneagram three, I suggest an enneagram book specifically directed to the enneagram three, like this one. I also highly suggest The Road Back to You. I will post these resources below.